Crossfit: Jane Fonda Style.

I'm over in a corner doing my little leg lifts with a stability ball, working my core (much needed! SO fluffy), doing strict dumbbell press, high reps, low weight, here's hoping for more tone... 

Meanwhile, my box-mates are running, lifting heavy shit, doing squats, lunges, jumping rope, landing on boxes....

I'm really trying to find the up side to this whole "being injured" thing... I know there are a lot of things to be grateful for, but the reality of my reality is humbling. 

My coach(es) are patient and helping me SO much.  We've had private meetings to plan a course of action, coming up with movements that I CAN do, creating WODs, coaching me privately, taking the time to help me stay on some kind of course and achieve the things I can, texting to see how I'm doing, when I'm coming in, how the previous workout was, etc... 

It's difficult to not think about the things I can't do.  Even the smallest movements like a plank.  Nope, can't do it. I can't bend my toe. Lunge? Nope.  Squat?  Nope. 

And finding ways to work my glutes, or my legs, without impacting or my right foot... ugh. ugh ugh ugh. 

Y'all, I'm frustrated.  It doesn't feel better. I can still feel the inflammation even when I'm sitting still, doing nothing. This stupid boot, off. on. off. on. Like the Wax on, wax off. I can't drive in it, so every time in and out of the car... And trying to wear it in the gym seems like a horrible idea, but I'm thinking I will be in trouble if I don't start doing that, so I guess I'm going to be lame and strap the stupid thing on, and try to not let it interfere with the little that I CAN do... 

I want to find a way to rehab this and not let it keep me down.  Part of me is not so much scared, but sad at the possibility that I will have to quit what I've been able to do.  My whole method of fitness and confidence in what I've achieved, what milestones I've hit, and those goals I've set for the future... all of this is questionable. 

This is the saddest part of it.  The uncertainty. 

Hearing the "this is one of the hardest things to come back from... it's one of the hardest to heal... you'll have to continually monitor this going forward b/c of they way your foot is constructed... cortisone shots will deteriorate the tissue around your bones..." ... all of these things are terrifying. Will I ever run with what little confidence I had before this?  These stupid bones are the SIZE OF GREEN PEAS! and they are affecting EVERYTHING! 

I go back in a week and I'm fully preparing myself for the shots.  

And I don't see it getting better before the end of the year... so yeah... 

I got the boot on Nov. 3rd.  

I'll be lucky to have it off by Jan. 3rd. 

2 Months. 8 weeks. Even then, if I'm lucky to get that off, I'll have to go super slow to get things back, if I even can. 

I still don't even have a good story to tell people when they ask. (And what's with all the strangers thinking that asking about what happened or making commentary is appropriate? I'm not pregnant. No, you can't touch it.  Why do you want to ask? Oh, just being nosy.  I hate, loathe, am super annoyed with nosy people.)  And the ones who just stare but don't offer to let the booted go ahead of them in the speedy checkout ... not that I would, but the offer would be nice instead of rushing to make sure you get your loaded buggy in line before the crippled boot gets up to the register. 

I. Am. Annoyed.