Friday, January 30, 2015

Feels like Friday... but...

It's only Thursday.

I think this week has been on of the toughest, as far as WODs are concerned.  SO many shoulders!!! And SO much running!!! It all feels extra heavy, but I feel like I'm finally getting my work out back...

Maybe it was stepping on the scale (I know, I know...blah).
Maybe it's getting those baby runs in on Saturday.
Maybe it was the longer 800m run on Monday.
Maybe it's having my food in order.
Maybe it's a little bit of all of that combined.

I dunno. I feel like my schedule is falling back in place and that's a really good feeling. What didn't feel so great is knowing what I weighed a month ago, getting on the scale this week and seeing that it'd gone up another lb and a few oz. My clothes aren't feeling very comfortable right now.  the back and arms thing, I know that's muscle related, but the pants being too tight, the jeans that feel like I'm encased like a sausage, the shirts that ride up, the saddle bags that seemingly have come back overnight, my self image and confidence have taken a hit and it's all my fault.

Today I wore leggings and a super slouchy loose knit sweater thing.  I lucked out that it's long and covers my bum.  I couldn't handle another day of wondering if I'd be able to wiggle out of my clothes.

I'm actually feeling pretty confident about the WOD tonight... it includes Weighted sit-ups, which is one of my faves... and let's be honest, I could really use the fluff help. One of these days, when I'm not hitting my gut with the barbell when I'm doing cleans, I'll think it's funny.

Right now, it's just depressing

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Running "Jackie"

Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I walked in to the box yesterday.  I'd seen the WOD posted, and saw the 800m run to kick it off...

This was after doing a 5x5 backsquat pre-WOD. (I'm still trying to work my way back up on that one...

That being said, legs were already going to be worked before I hit the concrete.

Row or Run.

That was my question.

What was going to leave me with enough gas in the tank to knock out 50 35# thrusters when I got done?

And THEN allow me to be consistent with the 30 assisted pull ups I still had on the table after the thrusters.

This was my first time meeting "Jackie", I think, so I didn't have a lot to go off of. I only knew "the foot" and that I'd just done my first set of 200m runs on Saturday that didn't bother me at all, so....

I ran the 800.

The fun thing is that it didn't totally suck. I actually made it to about the 600m point before I paused and walked a few steps before finishing it out.  It was so much easier to do than a 400.  I just think 400s are the WORST!

Those thrusters?  I did them in sets of 10 for the most part.  the last 2 sets, those were broke down into 5s.  I didn't feel like dying. THAT is a miracle! Thrusters are the worst lung burner ever. Imagine squishing your diaphragm and trying to breathe.  It just sucks. But at 35#s, manageable.

The pull-ups, though... I even used the bar w/ the grip on it, used the green w/ the black bands, and I still lost SO much time.  My height was consistent, (I think), but I kept feeling dizzy, and out of sync, so I had to keep resetting.

I finished in 14:06. It's a time that needs improvement, but it's a time that I'm okay with.  I've learned to allow myself a few moments of leniency. to adapt to the things I can, and not let the others weigh down my progress.  Every day I'm there, I'm getting stronger.

I've also been good and feel GREAT with getting my food back on track.  It seems like it's been months since I can confidently say that, and I'm sure it has been... I hate getting lazy, being lazy, and staying lazy... but I'm SO good at it...


I start my next 24 day challenge on Monday, Feb. 2nd. I can't wait! I'm ready to get rid of the toxins, up my energy, sleep better, feel better, and lose a few lbs & inches along the way. I'll be sure to share results as I go along. 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

ALLLL the Running!!!

The last time I ran in a WOD was Oct. 29, 2014.

I haven't run any, other than a jog from my door to the grass so Bella could sniff all the grass.

Today it was 200m x3.

Being mindful of putting equal pressure on my foot, a steady pace, not too fast (really, that's never been a problem, HA!), and leading with the left foot.

The weighted / overhead lunges are still a no go... I tried, but ended up subbing them out with weighted squats.  Not the same, but still working my legs. *YAY*

I'm still nervous about trying out the burpees, but I guess they will happen when my foot is 100% ready.  I'm not going to do anything too fast. That being said, I'm getting SO strong with my pushups.  My Triceps are going to be huge! HAHA!

Not really, but they feel like the size of baseballs when they're on fire.

It took me a while to get to the point where I didn't feel like 200 was going to kill me.  And 400s, haha, what a joke.  I didn't love the 400s before injury, and I don't think I will love them when I'm back on my game, but honestly, I'm appreciating every step more and I know when I need to pull back.

If I've learned anything in all of this ridiculousness, it's to listen to what my aches and pains are telling me and when it doesn't get better, pushing it just to be in the game won't do me any favors.

I'm SO lucky to have the coaches and the members around me that I do.  I know for a fact that if I'd had this happen on my own, I would have quit. I would have been so discouraged and I would have fallen back in to 2009 all over again.

So bring it on.

ALL the Running!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

In case no one has told you lately...

I want YOU to know...

You are worth SO much more than you can ever imagine.

Trust me.

Few things break my heart more than seeing the friends I love and cherish devalue themselves or become blind to seeing their self worth;  compromising their core because they don't know or see how to change their circumstance, or maybe they don't think about it, it just becomes a 'fight or flight"...

Obviously, I'm not in that situation, but we've all been in and through things that we react first and respond to later, or maybe we don't respond at all, but deep down know we aren't in the right place.

Be strong enough to do what you need to do for you and those you love.
Be strong enough to make the best choices, not the easiest ones.
Be determined enough to pursue those things with complete abandon, regardless of what those around you think.
Do it because it's what is right for you, not just what is right now for you.
Don't sell me on your justifications. If it's the right thing, you won't feel like you have to.
Don't explain them.
DO them.

I don't judge you.
I choose to care.
I choose you to be in my sphere, near or far.
I'm influencing you, and I wouldn't be doing it correctly, or appropriately if I didn't encourage you to CHOOSE YOU!


I have a friend who I know needs to see the above, which was my motivation for writing it.  Who knows, maybe you did, too. OR maybe you have someone who does?  If that's the case, don't be afraid to tell them.

This is what I do know... I struggle with choosing myself ALL THE DANG TIME!
I find myself wanting to choose things for others, and a lot of the time, I end up hurting myself, mentally, emotionally, bad diet, messy house, stress, fitness, other relationships / friendships, etc.

The balance is SO hard to achieve in living a good healthy life, being a good friend, a solid positive influence, and not forget about yourself, without sounding selfish. But I believe that sometimes being selfish is exactly the best thing and can bring some of the best moments, not just for you but for those around you, too.

I've skipped out on invitations to dinners, drinks, bar hops, out of town trips, concerts, painting classes, all kind of fun things, and made choices that were better for me, and thus allowing me to be better for my friends.  Sometimes there are those that don't understand it, and for them, well, their loss, honestly.

So don't forget to take care of yourself and in doing so, you'll help take care of those around you.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Paleo Baseline = Suck.

So each year we do our Paleo challenge, which comes with a Baseline WOD that we do on days 1 and 30.

I told you guys yesterday that I wasn't prepared, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I was woefully unprepared. I just sucked.

My time and performance yesterday was so sub par compared to what I know I can do.  I just didn't have anything in the tank to get it done the way I wanted to.  Realizing that I have to work back up to things I was doing with ease before, switching from a 14lb wall ball to a 10 lb one, doing a green band pull up, wishing I'd used a green / black combo b/c my body weight felt like 2 tons, pulling the rower felt like I was never going to get to the end...

The only thing I did feel really good about was my bench press after the WOD was done.

The lesson:

A fellow crossfit friend called me last night after her Baseline WOD, and she was equally as frustrated with her performance.  I found myself giving her the advice I needed to hear myself.

We may not be where we want to be, we may be slow, we may be last, but we're ahead of where we were a year ago.

It comes down to this.

As a flute student, if I wanted to get better, I had to practice.  I took private lessons. I spent HOURS with just me and my instrument working on scales, breathing, noodling, transitions.  Micro-movements with my pinky finger.  Every single tiny element had to have focus and study in order for me to get better.  Just showing up and playing through the 30-45 mins in class each day wasn't going to make me a better flute player.  I had to be the student of my instrument, of my skill. That was on me.  I didn't get to be first chair because I was cordial.  I earned it by being a good student and knew my craft and my instrument.

The same thing goes for Crossfit.  Me showing up and working out each day isn't going to necessarily make me better, more efficient, more apt.  I have to practice even when I'm not there.  I have to take my own time to come in and work on the elements I want to get better at.

I want to run faster?  Practice running. Break down my movements. Focus on the short run.  Focus on my breathing.  Focus on how my foot rolls when I'm moving forward.

Every single tiny element makes a difference.  Transitions. Shoes. Arms. Shoulders. Tension (or lack there of)... Everything.

Break it down.

Get better.

I've got 29 days until we do this WOD again. I'm going to be working on the things I can do to improve my time.  I know I can do this and shave a good 5 mins off.

Goal set.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Getting my legs going again

Today the box is kicking off their 30 day Paleo challenge.  I'm participating, and doing my best to keep things on track, food wise.  I definitely need to track my food & stay accountable.

I'm not prepared at all.

I didn't go to the store yesterday. I don't have a lot of food at home, but I have a few things that can pass for paleo in the fridge / freezer, so I will do what I can and be mindful of it all.

The Paleo Baseline WOD is posted and ordinarily I'd be pumped to get it done, but after my foot issue, I don't know that I can actually push thru all of it, so I'll most likely end up doing a modified version with rowing instead of running, push ups and step ups instead of the burpee box jumps...

I want to run so bad, I just know I'm not ready for it... I need to work up to it a little bit more.

I'll show up today, and I'll do what I can.

Mentally, I'm just not in the game yet... I'm not prepared with the food, I haven't gone to the store, I don't have the funds to really do it yet...

But these are all excuses. I have to jump in and make this work the best I can.

I refuse to be the same as I was last year.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

More Samantha, Less Charlotte

It struck me today, during a text convo w/ a girlfriend, wondering if the new designer brand purse she bought was too big, that we (women) seem to shy away from going "BIG", as in "bold", and when is that appropriate, or okay to do, like maybe we're afraid to offend or come off as showboats or braggarts.

I think I'm pretty balanced when it comes to doing that... being bold.  It's something that I've had to learn, because it doesn't necessarily come easy to me; to do something to draw attention to myself, and I often find myself apologizing for it when it's really not necessary to do so.

Luckily, I've been ridiculously blessed with new friends in the past couple of years who have taught me that there's grace in being bold, and that it really is okay. Friends that aren't afraid to take ridiculous & fun pictures, splurge on a whimsical purchase, go on a random trip because we can, wear bright red lipstick, and obnoxious amounts of animal print, be the fun group, not the quiet group... you know the kind of girls I'm talking about.  The "Sex in The City" group you see walking down the street... Some days I really do feel more like the "Charlotte", wishing I could let it go and be more "Samantha", even a "Carrie" is good, too and it's doable with the right friends walking with me.

Maybe this is just all in my head, trying to balance being polite and being excited and proud to wear a new dress, drive a new car, show off my latest Kendra Scott piece(s), share my latest accomplishment in the gym, etc...

Maybe it's because I'm staring at 40 in the face and I'm a little sad about all the things I've not done, and don't really see happening that I somehow expected by this point, letting go of those expectations, and having a quiet exit, stage right...

But the times I remember to do this, to be bold, and maybe a little obnoxious when I let my guard down, I have fun.

It's okay to be proud.
It's okay to be loud.
It's okay to be bold.
It's FUN to be fancy.

You can do all of this and be graceful.

Just balance it out and find the girlfriends who show you how.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Quality: Focus 2015

I always seem to find myself focusing on something, a theme or vision, every time the new year comes around.  Maybe because my birthday happens at the same time.  Maybe because I visit with family and exchange cards and gifts with people I don't see nearly enough.  Maybe because I have some kind of hope that things can get better, and maybe some day I won't have to feel so defensive all the time, and might actually let my walls down.

Maybe I just want more.

I think it's healthy to want more.  Not necessarily stuff, but goals, dreams, wishes, hope... It's all pretty open ended.

Last year I kept coming back to "authentic"... real people, real food, real relationships... authentic, not fake. I think I did pretty good.

A few years ago, the Prayer of Jabez was a big deal. I was focused on expanding my territory, impacting others positively, broadening my sphere of influence.

This year, it's Quality.

Quality Time
Quality People
Quality Relationships
Quality Conversations
Quality Things
Quality Food.

Quality workout efforts. - No half-assed "just to get it done" 
Quality purchases.
Quality products.


My standards are high.

I've asked my facebook and twitter connections for feedback on what they think of when they see the word "Quality".  It can be a thing, a feeling, a perception, whatever they want it to be.  If you read this and we aren't connected "IRL", comment here. 

Be empowered, 
Hold your standards high, 
Be satisfied.

Have quality.

Happy 2015 to you! I can't wait to see what's ahead for each one of us.