So Last post I was detailing my frustration with my adding lean mass, (weight), and not losing much body fat, scared to hit the 200 mark again, and not understanding out how my output (workouts) wasn't helping or making a difference in this, when I know I have the tools to make it happen.
My frustration hasn't gone away. I try not to think about it, because I really do enjoy my food, and I'll be damned if I'm going to get to a point where I don't. That would be SO sad. Devastating, actually.
I mentioned it to my coach, prefacing that I wasn't trying to be negative or self-deprecating, but rather just frustrated trying to make sense of it all. She offered to take a look at my food for the next two weeks, and see if there's something she's noticing, that I'm not, which is being counter productive to my progress, or lack there of.
So today, I jumped back on myfitnesspal and started tracking my food again. I'd say I'd track my fitness, but I really don't have any idea how many calories I'm burning on what day at the gym. Some days it's more, others, not so much. It really varies with each WOD.
Honestly, okay, I "should" go to the dr. I don't have a GP. I dread going to a new one because it's been years, honestly, since I've had any sort of check up. I live in my world where I go to the Dr. when I know something is wrong and I need it fixed. I had pain in my foot. Went to the Dr. I couldn't shake the Upper Respiratory Infection, turns out it was the Flu (a year and a half ago), but I went to the Dr. then, too... rather the "clinic"... I don't have a Dr, but I've got a couple of recommendations. But just Ugh. SO inconvenient. I kinda like living in my "ignorance is bliss" reality. I fear being limited when I feel like I'm finally in a good place and making good strides for myself, and for the most part, I'm okay. Just all the testing, all the pokes, pricks, "try this" bull crap... I don't want it. I hate having an excuse for anything...
I'm so stubborn, I know.
Hard Headed and Stubborn.
You can make sure they put that on my headstone or plaque one day...
But for now, I'm just tracking my food.