SO I've managed to log in to My Fitness Pal for 8 days and I have tracked pretty close, if not on the dot, to my caloric intake.
Good and Bad.
I'd lost 3 lbs after like 4 days, then I added them right back on this weekend w/ food and drink consumption on Thursday & Saturday.
I haven't done any of my 5K walking, either.
This week I'm getting 10 meals from Fixed Foods delivered, so I'll be doing those for Lunch & dinner. I'll see how much of a difference that will make. Basically, if I don't eat anything outside of my usual with that, I'll have my Advocare Shakes for breakfast, Almonds / Fruit for snack, and my FF meals for lunch and dinner. All but the Advocare is Paleo.
It's been a slow transition and maybe one day I'll go 100%, but I need to exercise this dedication and commitment to myself. I HAVE to see something change. I HAVE to see the inches change.
Y'all, I don't care about the scale. I really don't. I care about how I look. I know I don't see a lot of the changes that everyone else sees, and that's my fault for being that hard on myself, but I own it. I'll take full responsibility for it.
The measuring tape is what I CAN see change.
And when that doesn't and the scale goes up, the fat percentage stays the same, and I can't justify the number on the scale, much less understand why or what is happening, THAT is my weight issue.
Justifying it, understanding it, being able to look at some fat-shaming asshole and tell him "The scale may say THIS, and I might be a size 10/12, BUT my percentage is spot on and I have THIS much of my weight in muscle". and be able to walk off and feel like I just won at life...
THAT is what I want.
So tomorrow I'll log back in again.