This goes all the way back to when you were born. Your parents most likely had these really big dreams for you.
"What will she be?"
"She's so smart - she's mimicking my sounds."
"She can read really well - a third grade level as a 1st grader!"
"She's going to be so successful"
"She loves puppy dogs, I bet she'll be a vet"
"She's so good with kids, she's going to be a great mom"
"She in the top 25% of her class, she's practically a genius"
"She's a gorgeous girl. Her figure is so curvy and svelt."
You KNOW what I mean. Beauty shop talk. Think "Steel Magnolias" at Truvy's.
These perceptions and expectations that are put on us (boys / men, too) when we are just babies, growing up. This doesn't stop as we get in adulthood, either. Only we have a larger audience setting those expectations and creating those perceptions.
"Oh, she's changed jobs 3 times in 4 years. Why can't she keep a job? Why is she always looking for a new one? Why is she still single? I thought for sure she'd be married by now. Why doesn't she have kids? She would have been a great mom... "
On the other, less encouraging side is the "I wonder what's wrong with her that this, this, and this..."
So much of all of this talk that goes on around us, to us, about us... these things create the perceptions, opinions and expectations we often create for ourselves.
It's been something in the back of my mind for a while. All of the "why did I want to get married and have kids, a job, this life that I had growing up? Is it what I truly would need to be fulfilled and happy? Or is it what I knew and was comfortable with because I was raised to expect and want those things?"
Truth is, I don't even really know.
Today I think I've worked to have a better grasp of my being, purpose, and fulfillment.
This is what I want.
Time freedom to have the ability to help others, help myself, and keep grinding away toward optimal body composition, eating my way to a thriving metabolism while gaining more muscle and muscle tone. I may never have a 6 pack but it doesn't mean I won't quit working toward that finding happiness when / if I achieve it. And if I don't that's okay, too.
Peace about where I am in life instead of fearing the strong chance that I won't have a significant other to grow old with. This is something I struggle with, trying to discern my true heart's desire vs. what I've been taught to desire... but deep down I do want to connect with someone on a heart level. I also have to resolve that may not be in my cards. So I keep looking for peace around me, through my activities, my pursuit of heath, my friendships (which those alone have become more defined, true, and purposeful). When you don't have to try or mind your words around those you love, you know you are with the right friends.
Anyway... all this to say don't let what society dictates as successful, beautiful, fit, strong, smart, or anything else define you. Trust yourself enough to find that peace within your soul where you know you're doing the best you can with where you are and who you are. If you want things to change for the better, to have more of that peace, then go after it.
If you need someone to listen and offer up some encouragement, reach out to me. (Whomever, if anyone reads this anymore?)
do what you do for you.
I'm going to be working on completing my Eat To Perform Coaching Course by the end of this year. My hope is to be able to bless others with the knowledge and food freedom this program has given me. The peace I have with food, and no more "labels" other than "carbs, fats, proteins", is beyond liberating.
Society is a bitch. You don't have to be friends with her.
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